| | Be a Natural Person | A Manual for Spiritual Problem-solving | The Enlightened Witness | | Magic Mirror | Reflection vs. Reality | The True 'I' Is Always Free | Who Am 'I'? | The Supreme Power Does Everything | | Master Tells Stories The Rope to God | Master's Movie Corner | | 2. Contributions to Chinese fire victims on July 22, 2000 at Georgetown, Penang, Malaysia (Unit: RM) | Contributions to Muslim fire victims on August 9, 2000 at Jelutong, Penang, Malaysia (Unit: RM) | | Appreciate the Celestial Jewelry with the Wisdom Eye | | Millennium Lotus | | Master Tells Jokes |
You have to be cautious and self-confident. Listen to your inner intuition.
Today, that attendant said that he had been amazed by an inner feeling
telling him that he should rush over and light the way for me. I was then
walking on a dark, rocky path. That was his immediate feeling and reaction,
yet he and the other one were standing there like a couple of rocks. This
is how we often make mistakes. We don't listen to our inner intuition.
I have already told you: Eat when you are hungry and sleep when you are
tired. By reacting naturally, you can not go wrong. Do not be veiled by
preconceived ideas, or deceived by the thought "because people say
this or that".
Sometimes, after you hear what I say, you start to act recklessly with
the excuse that I have taught you to be natural. That is not being natural;
that is scheming. Therefore, I give up; I am at my wit's end. I don't know
what to say; I dare not speak any more. You are so good at "interpreting"
my words to suit yourself. Suppose I were to say that there is no need
to separate from your two wives, if you already have them. Then most probably
someone would wait until he had two wives before he came for initiation.
(Laughter) He would say that it did not matter because that was before
he was initiated. (Master laughs) Sometimes, people deliberately create
trouble. Why do you deceive yourselves? You should listen to your real
Self! Natural responses can not be wrong.
I long so much to meet a truly natural person. I yearn for that more than
you yearn for an Enlightened Master, but I cannot find a "human".
This is incredible! Why would a human behave like that? What do we have
to fear in doing the right thing? What could be wrong in lighting the way
for someone without a light on a dark, rocky road? If I had scolded you
for doing that, it would have been all right for you to scold me. If I
had been so bad, you could have scolded me and enlightened me a bit.
That was a very simple thing. You knew within, but you took no action on
the outside. At that moment, you failed to listen to your own Self. This
kind of situation occurs daily. Every day the inner Master Power is trying
to function and help us, but we stop It. That is why we are agonized. We
have to do it sooner or later, but we are a bit slow and suffer a little,
because destiny cannot be changed. Sometimes, it is very obvious to us
that we should do certain things. If we are held back by preconceived ideas,
fear, or some other reasons, then we feel very vexed and depressed. It
is because we do not listen to God's will and our own Self. Most people
in the world suffer very much because of that. They contaminate each other,
telling each other what is bad about this and wrong about that. But then
they still do it, and with guilty feelings. They cannot enjoy fully, nor
are they able to say no. At the end, they are trapped in misery, living
a very painful life, with no freedom at all.
We live on the great earth beneath the vast sky, without any barriers or
obstructions. However, each of us is carrying a portable prison on our
body all the time, ever ready to confine ourselves in it, lock ourselves
in, and be tortured. Then all we get is pain, suppression, boredom, stress,
and tension. Therefore, we must not wait until we die to get liberation;
it should be achieved now, in this lifetime. Just demolish your own prison
and then you will become an absolutely free, natural, and peaceful person.
The more tense and stressed we are, and the more we confine ourselves,
the worse we become. Normally, I enjoy seeing you very much. It is only
because you are scared of me that you imagine a lot of things to separate
us. As a result, I feel uncomfortable seeing you; the more nervous you
are, the more uncomfortable I feel.
The more nervous and ill at ease you are, the more likely you are to make
mistakes. And the more mistakes you make, the more I scold you. The more
I do that, the more nervous you become. And the more nervous you are, the
more I scold you. It goes on in a circle and we drift further and further
apart. Isn't that too bad?
Therefore, vexations are created by ourselves only, nothing else! There are no obstacles, nothing. Really, there is nothing happening in the world. This is how most of you create trouble for yourselves, by hindering yourselves from developing, and depriving yourselves of relaxation. When you are not relaxed, your mind is blocked and, of course, you cannot act rightly. It is our destiny that we ought to do such and such things, but the happiness or pain in doing them is generated by ourselves. When we are too uptight, our mind is blocked and we act in an unhappy way. There should perhaps be just a little pain, but we multiply it several hundred times, just because we are too uptight. Sigh! Sometimes, I feel that you are so pitiable that I don't know what to say! You really don't have to live in such misery!
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Spoken by Supreme Master Ching Hai
Hawaii, U.S.A., October 22, 1993
(Originally in English)
We don't reincarnate, but a part of our habits, our collective information
reincarnates. So this part of us, which is called the intellect, or maybe
the sixth consciousness, collects all kinds of karmic information. And
then it recycles it again, like a Coca Cola bottle, or like some of the
things in the United States now that they encourage people to recycle.
It's the same thing; our 'bottles' are recycled. Each time they can be
used, and they are still connected with other materials in this world,
then we call it reincarnation; it's just a kind of recycling. The Coca
Cola substance inside doesn't reincarnate, only the bottle does. Still,
people can recognize that, or not recognize it. But the substance is still
there, so they recognize it as recycled; we see it as recycled.
The things from which this bottle is made are not reincarnated; this is
our real Self, our soul. Each time we want to experiment with new things,
we bottle ourselves into a new recycled substance or subject; that's it.
But then again, we're used to identifying ourselves with all this substance
and information, so we say we reincarnate. But it's not true. We never
die, and we are never born. We have always existed; we are the witness
of all things created and destroyed in this universe. We always are the
witness. But then sometimes we identify ourselves with the subject that
we witness and with the circumstances in which we witness it, so we suffer
or we have joy.
Just like when we watch TV, and we forget that it's only a movie, and we
cry, or we laugh. We support this one, and we want to kill the other. Both
of them have nothing to do with us, none of them are our enemies or friends,
and none of them are real. But we hate that one: "Oh! That mustached
one, he is a bad guy, kill him, kill him!" You sit in front of the
screen, and you say, "Kill him! Kill that guy quickly!" Or "Get
out, get out! He'll kill you! Get out, quick! This way, this way!"
Like the personage on TV or the screen will actually listen to us or hear
us, but they don't. They do what they have to do according to the director,
not according to us. Therefore many of the movies' outcomes don't suit
our taste; we want to change them. But what's the use? If we change it,
it's not that movie any more. So the movie has to exist the way it is.
Actually, we fool ourselves many times, and we can prove that every day;
no need to talk about reincarnation, illusion or anything of this world,
we can prove it.
I'll tell you a foolish story about myself. Yesterday or the day before
yesterday, when I first came to Hawaii, they rented an apartment for me
and our many staff members, like the ones who have to work close to me;
also we have guests. It's a rented place for ten days, not much, cheap,
but very big and near the beach. I was thinking to invite you there, but
I don't know how to house you. It's big, but it's not that big! It's big
enough for ten persons, but not for thousands. So now, the relativity of
our world: Sometimes we say, "Wow, it's great!" But it's not
that great compared to other things. We are always in illusion until we
compare it against another background; then we know we are wrong.
It's similar with many practices. They practice, they eat vegetarian, they
meditate and they are very good, but good to what point? Against our Quan
Yin practitioners, they are just like half-cooked, half-baked cookies,
for example! So, we know the good things and the great things in this world
have their limits, compared to the Truth or the limitless almighty power
of God.
Now, come back to my foolish story. I went into the room, fantastic, everywhere
it had big mirrors, so I can see how pretty I am. (Audience laughs at Master's
'preening' gestures) And in the bedroom, there was a big mirror; I knew
it was a mirror. Everyone immediately knew it was a mirror; there's no
fooling about that. In the bathroom, there were also two windows, and from
the two windows, you could see through to the sea.
Then when I looked into the mirror, I saw four windows. And I kept thinking,
"How come the sea is over there?" I thought my place was situated
on the edge of the water, and was surrounded by the sea. So, I could see
the sea in that window, and I could see the sea through that window. And
I fooled myself for two days. Can you believe it? Until one day I happened
to look out of the real windows, and I saw there was no sea over there.
And I said, "How come?" I looked back to the wall again where
the mirror was and said, "Wow, there is the sea!" And even then,
I did not understand.
So, they say the sage is like the fool. Actually, afterwards I remembered,
"Oh, yes, it's the mirror!" But it was difficult to find out.
You can't believe it. Because I was not used to this kind of scenery, two
windows became four, that I hadn't seen before. And the sea was inside
the wall. But it looked so real that I was mesmerized with the beauty of
the sea through the windows and I forgot about the mirror. Really, I did!
But it hit me like that: "My God! You are the Supreme Master, okay,
but you don't realize the difference between the windows and the reflection
of the windows." So, I laughed at myself, and had very good fun when
I realized that.
But it surprised me that I didn't realize it was a reflection from the
window. It really surprised me for many days. How could I be fooled so
easily? Just because I love the sea, I focused on the sea. And I thought,
"Wow! You can see the sea through the windows; fantastic, we have
four windows and on all four sides is the sea." I was happy with the
sea, and I forgot that it was an illusion. It's not that I couldn't find
out, it's just that I was too fixated on the sea.
So, similarly in our daily life, most people are fixated on the object
of their beloved desire. And then they forget the illusion, they forget
the magic mirror. It's not that they can't find out; when they are ready,
they'll find out. The Master will come, or they will wake up themselves.
Actually when the Master comes, that means they wake up themselves. Otherwise,
who can tell them they have it inside? Just like me: I have my eyes, the
mirror is there, I can always find out, but then I am too fixated on the
vision of the sea, and enjoying that. And it looked so real; I thought
it was four windows. I'm telling you the truth; I'm not kidding you. I'm
not telling a story to make a smooth gap between our lectures; it's a true
story. I am that foolish. Can you believe it? And now, you follow me! (Audience
laughs) So be careful where you're going with the mirror.
We are fixed in our illusions up to now, or still, sometimes. Therefore,
we can't find the truth between illusion - the reflection or the shadow
- and the real. So, we play up and down; we enjoy it. And sometimes we
hit ourselves and we say, "How come?" It's not there because
it's not there; it has never been there.
Similarly, our life is so real to us that we can not understand or believe
that it is an illusion, that there is another real life, the true object
of this shadow life. But when we close our eyes, we shut all our senses,
and truly look for the real subject, then we realize, "Oh, there is
a fantastic world, and that is real." It feels good there, it feels
real, and it feels better than over here. So, that's when I look through
the real window; the real wind is caressing my face, and all the trees
outside are waving. Whereas in the mirror, it's a little bit different.
I discovered that the four windows are different. Because in there are
no trees, and out there are trees. And then I realized, "Ah! This
is a different reflection only, so the angle is different." So, the
reflected picture is missing some part.
Therefore in our real life, it's the same thing. The reflection is never
perfect, because of a different-looking angle. And now we are not satisfied;
that's that. You feel something phony about it. Then sooner or later, we
will desire the real, and the reality will hit us. And then we know: There
we are. That's why we make mistakes; that's why we stumble so far.
Spoken by Supreme Master Ching Hai
Santimen, Pingtung, Formosa December 21, 1992
(Originally in English)
Q: I have one question, which is purely theoretical, but I've stuck with
it for over ten years. I understood with the mind that we don't have an
I; our feelings are not us and our thinking is not us and so on. So what
is the thing that goes from one reincarnation to another, and what causes
karma and collects it, and what causes merit and collects it? Is it our
mind?
M: Our mind, and our soul that clings to that mind. For example, if the
car goes wrong and the driver doesn't jump out of the car, then he gets
done with, together with the car. If he jumps out in time, if he doesn't
feel so attached to the car that he tries to save the car, then he might
save his life. Some people love the car more than their life. That's the
same trouble with most of us; we love our garbage collector more than our
soul, more than our real Self. We are always in touch with the outside
world, with the collecting of thoughts, with all kinds of preconceived
ideas, with all kinds of nonsense, but we are not in touch with our real
Lord, our real Self. So we have trouble.
I will try to explain more. In your life, do you understand who is living
now? It's the awareness, the real 'I' that is living through the perceiving
agents of the hands, the feet, the eyes, the ears, the mouth, the feelings,
and the brain. That's it. And should 'I', this awareness, always get stuck
with these feelings, with this thinking, with this information, then the
'I' cannot be free from the feelings, from the thinking, from the preconceived
collective ideas of society, of the environment, of the habits. And of
course, that true awareness, that true 'I' has to come back again. But
should this true 'I' always understand that he, the true 'I', the true
awareness, is only the witness of all these feelings, all this thinking,
all these collective thoughts, then this 'I' never gets stuck with these
feelings or ideas, and is always free. So when he dies, he knows absolutely
that he is not these feelings, not these bindings, not these surroundings,
not these ideas; then he is free. He marches back to the whole, to the
whole river of life, and doesn't get stuck in that corner of so-called
thinking, feeling, hate and love. So we have to awaken our awareness again,
pull it back and keep reminding it all the time, "You are not this
feeling, you are not this idea, you are not this, and you are not that."
Understand? Nothing is you!
Q: Is it the same with pain?
M: Yes, because the body feels pain; the nerves feel pain because the nerves
are made to feel things. The awareness enjoys these feelings and enjoys
knowing outside things. Otherwise, how can we be aware? This is the awareness
that experiences pain through the body, but the awareness itself never
has pain! If you eat an apple, it's the apple that is sweet; it's not your
tongue that is sweet. It's not you who are sweet! The sweetness is not
you, it's from the apple; you are the one who enjoys the sweetness. Similarly,
we ourselves, the awareness, enjoy the pleasure, know the pain and reject
the unpleasant things. But all these things don't matter. You enjoy it
or you reject it; you experience the unpleasant or the pleasant, but that's
it. You are not the pleasant or unpleasant. These are only circumstances.
So why should you get stuck there, and be bound life after life? Because
you are not satisfied. You have to know that these things are fleeting.
Today it comes, tomorrow it goes. Okay, that's it. If I have enjoyed, I
enjoy it. If I experience an unpleasant thing, then I endure it, and that's
it. When I'm gone, I'm gone. When I don't have them, I don't have them.
Otherwise if we, the awareness, keep chasing after pleasure, then we reincarnate.
The awareness is trying to catch the last leftover feeling, so it tries
to put itself into a frame again and enjoy it or suffer, always clinging
to this sweet or bitter feeling, chasing after it.
If someone gives you an apple, and you eat it: Oh, you love it so much!
But now you don't have another one, and you go everywhere searching for
an apple; every day your mind says only, "Apple, apple, apple!"
You cannot do anything else, and you lose yourself. You lose yourself in
the sweetness of the apple. It's the same thing with our life: The awareness
is chasing after the pleasant and hating the unpleasant, and we get stuck
there. The awareness cannot free itself from these feelings; therefore,
we are bound, we are not liberated. If we know that at every moment, and
especially at the time of death, we are not this feeling, we don't care
about this feeling, and we are done with all these feelings, then we are
free. We are always free! We have never been unfree. (Audience applauds)
So, cry when you want to cry, and laugh when you want to laugh, but understand
that the crying and laughing are not you. You just experience them, for
the sake of knowing things, for the sake of existence. Otherwise you don't
exist; otherwise the world doesn't exist. We say that the world is full
of suffering and it shouldn't exist, but why shouldn't it exist? If it
didn't exist, it would also be boring. There's nothing else to do, and
you enjoy all the time: "Oh, I am this, I am that, (Audience laughs)
I am God, that's it, I am Almighty, and I know it! I have no suffering,
nothing. I am always blissful." So what? Don't bother about nirvana,
so what? If you are happy every day, so what?
But because you still want nirvana, so work for it. Work until you don't
want it any more, until you're fed up with it, and then you'll be free.
(Master and audience laugh) I only want you to work for nirvana because
I want you to know that you don't need nirvana. But as long as you need
it, then work for it. If you still want the dummy, the plastic one, then
just have it. But have it until your mouth is dry and you have no milk,
nothing, and then one day you will throw it away. And realize that you
didn't even need it in the beginning. Because you are always free of that,
you don't need it.
Spoken by Supreme Master Ching Hai
Santimen, Pingtung, Formosa
December 26, 1992 (Originally in English)
You said the Master knows everything and is omnipresent. But I don't know
anything! The Master knows. 'I' don't have to know. We are doing without
doing. If I have to know everything, I am too busy, because I have to do
a thousand and one jobs at the same time. And you think the mind is capable
of flushing out one thousand and one jobs at the same time to report to
the so-called 'me'? I already have no 'me'; we have no 'me'. I told you
already that we are only thoughts. The so-called 'me' is only one thought
after another, all garbage, all habits, and all recorded information.
There is no 'me', actually.
'Me' is the awakened one, the witness, the one who sees everything that
we collect or we react to. There is a chain of action and reaction, and
the one who knows that is the witness. It's not the action or the reaction;
it's the witness. That's the 'We'; that's the 'I'. But then we always mistake
the witness for the event. We are so attached to the event or the taste
of all the things that we know, and then we think that's 'we'. Now 'I'
am angry, now 'I' am happy, now 'I' am not. It's not true! It's just the
reaction. It's not 'me' who is angry; 'I' am witnessing the anger; 'I'
am seeing the drama that is going on. Now it's funny, and now it's miserable,
but that is all, just the action and reaction on the stage.
Therefore, when we do some work for ourselves, we never think it's a big
deal. If you put some food in your mouth, do you expect any reward? Or
when you wash your body, do you think you are fantastic? (Audience laughs)
If you don't wash, you cannot bear it. If you don't eat, you feel very
weak, and you cannot move. So eating itself is kind of self-rewarding.
Bathing itself is kind of self-rewarding. Similarly, doing any work for
the Master, for human beings, for fellow initiates or non-initiates, these
are self-rewarding.
Of course, when we do work for Master, it means it is for human beings,
because the Master is a human being. He is not a private person; He is
a public instrument. Anyone can use it - you know this already - to do
any kind of job, it doesn't matter how humble or how great. You always
let the Master or tell the Master to do it, and the Master will do it,
whether you see it or not. The Master doesn't always have to report to
you about what the Master does. Therefore, sometimes you know, you see
it with your wisdom eye, and sometimes you don't. Maybe your wisdom eye
sleeps. (Audience laughs) Yes, it happens like that! And then you say,
"Master doesn't do anything for me. I never see anything." When
your mother is cleaning, washing and cooking while you are sleeping, do
you know anything? (No!) That doesn't mean the mother doesn't do the housework.
When you see your house is in order, neat and tidy when you wake up, you
know someone has done something. And if no one else is in the house, it
must be the mother!
So only the Master does everything. Who else is there, who else is with you except the Supreme Power who does everything for you? And then you think you meditate, you sit, you eat vegetarian, you keep the precepts, etc. Actually, it's all the Master who does it. It is the Master who seeks the Master; it's not you. Who is it that seeks? Is it all the thoughts that are jumping, one after the next, is that the one who seeks the Master wisdom? No! It's the wisdom who knows that it is time to recognize itself, to appreciate its own power. (Audience applauds) You cut off my inspiration! (Audience laughs) Never mind! I have another one. So if we still think we are doing something or seeking something, we are wrong. That's why 'we' cannot mix with the Master. That's why we can not recognize who we are, and who the Master is. The Master is ourselves.
Spoken by Supreme Master Ching Hai, Neihu, Taipei, Formosa
September 27, 1985 (Originally in English)
A long time ago, there was a husband who loved his wife very much. They were never apart, but once his wife had to go home to see her parents. And in the middle of the night, he missed her so much that he ran after her, and went to her parents' house. It was so dark and late that the whole house was closed; the gate was closed, and the wall was very high. He couldn't get into the house, and so he went around the house. Then finally, he found a big rope.
The rope was strung from the wall, hanging down to the ground. So he held
onto the rope, and climbed up to the second floor; then he saw his wife.
His wife was very surprised, and said, "How did you get in here?"
Her husband said to her, "I held onto the rope that you put down for
me. That's how I could come in to visit you; don't you know? I thought
because you knew I was coming, you had hung the rope down for me!"
She said "Oh, nonsense! I didn't know you were coming at this time!"
So the husband said, "If you don't believe me, you can come down and
have a look!" Then they both went down and had a look at the rope.
And they saw that it was not a rope, but a big snake hanging on the wall.
However, since it was dark, he hadn't noticed this, and in his blind love,
it seemed that it was from his wife, but he had nearly killed himself!
So his wife said to him, "Oh, my goodness! How much you love me! But
what can I give you? If only you loved God as much as you love me, with
the same love, you would have found it. If you loved enlightenment so much,
if you loved God so much, you would have found God and become a great saint
by now! But from the love you give to me, what can you gain? Nothing!"
Then the husband suddenly became 'enlightened' - his eyes were opened.
With the same snake, he slid down to the ground again and ran away, never
to see his wife again! After that, of course, he became a great saint and
attained enlightenment.
So you see, everything else in the world is like that also: You take care
of the wife, children, husband, but you don't take care of yourself. However,
'yourself' is the most important thing! What is the good of looking up
to the whole family and losing your own Self?
We are not to leave our family; we are to look after our family also. But
we must look after our Selves, find our Selves, who we are and what we
are meant to do in this world. If you don't know this, after you die you'll
have nothing.
Here is a new list of movies for kids as recommended by Master. Some are suitable for bigger kids (and adults); some are suitable for young kids. We have categorized the movies according to the standard U. S. ratings, as indicated below:
(G) General audiences. All ages admitted.
(PG) Parental guidance suggested. Some material may not be suitable for
children.
(PG-13) Parents strongly cautioned. Some material may be inappropriate
for children under 13.
Movies Acted by Real Persons:
* Battling for the Baby
* Bogus. (PG)
* Iron Will (PG)
* Just Dennis (PG)
* North (PG)
* A Simple Wish (PG)
* Princess Caraboo (PG)
* Three Wishes (PG)
* Super
* Medicine Man(1992)-Starring: Sean Connery and Lorraine Bracco (PG-13)
* Parenthood (PG-13)
* Rent a Kid (G)
* Uncle Buck (PG)
* The Air Up There (PG)
* Mr. Nice Guy
* Pay it Forward (PG-13)
* Remember the Titans (PG)
* My Father the Hero (PG)
* The Beverly Hillbillies (PG)
* Twister (PG-13)
* Tumbleweeds (PG-13)
* The Famous Five (British series)
Movies Featuring Animals:
* Old Yeller (G)
* Shiloh 2 (PG)
* The Magic of Lassie (G)
* Beethoven 3
* Rusty: A Dog's Tale (G)
* Git!
* The Painted Hills (G)
* Into the West (PG)
* Frankenweenie (PG)
* The Incredible Journey (G)
* K-9 (PG-13)
* K-911 (PG-13)
* Andre (PG)
* The Little Shepherd Dog of the Catalinas
http://www.godsdirectcontact.us/disasterrelief.html
Spoken by Supreme Master Ching Hai, Hsihu, Formosa
December 25, 1991 (Originally in Chinese)
According to some myths, initially there were no lotus flowers on Earth.
They were stolen from the superior realms. Such stories may not be fabricated,
for the lotus is very extraordinary. Pictures of Saints always show them
descending to Earth on lotus flowers.
The lotus represents the very pure and clean realm. We spiritual practitioners
should be like the lotus; we are only good if we are not contaminated or
lured by temptations! If we say that to err is human, and then we succumb
to temptations, how can we say that we have a steady mind and heart? We
can find lots of excuses for ourselves! There are many, many excuses, and
there are excuses for hell, too. We can choose any excuse we want! But
we will feel much more comfortable if we can be like lotus flowers.
Captions:
1. Celestial Jewelry - Millennium Lotus., designed by Supreme Master Ching
Hai
2. Celestial Jewelry -- Pure Lotus, designed by Supreme Master Ching Hai
Helping with Math
Spoken by Supreme Master Ching Hai, Hsihu, Formosa
December 24, 1995 (Originally in English)
A primary school boy came home and asked his father, "Father, this
mathematics question is very difficult. Can you help me, please?"
The father came over and the son said, "In this homework, the teacher
said, "Suppose your father earns only one thousand dollars per month,
and your mother spends about one thousand seven hundred dollars per month.
So, what is the answer?" The father said, "Oh, this you have
to go and ask your mother. She is the expert!"
Something in the Suit
Spoken by Supreme Master Ching Hai, Honolulu, Hawaii, U.S.A.
October 22, 1993 (Originally in English)
One friend said to another one, "I'm suing my wife." And his
friend asked, "Why? You were just married not long ago. What's wrong?"
The first friend said, "Well, she threw my newest suit out of the
window." And the second friend said, "Just a small thing like
that, and you're suing her in court? My God!" The first friend then
replied, "Yes, but I was inside the suit."
Burn the IOU Papers
Spoken by Supreme Master Ching Hai, Los Angles, California, U.S.A.
March 12, 1994 (Originally in English)
There was a person who was a very, very, you know, kind of very terrible person, she used to lend money to everyone. She counted every penny. And then one day, she was sick, and all the doctors already shook their heads, saying "There's nothing we can do about it." So she knew her time was up. So she called about fifty of her debtors to come next to her death bed, and then told a servant to bring all the papers, the IOU papers, in front of them and burned them all in front of them. And then one of the debtors was feeling very, kind of emotional and said, "Oh, madam, we have not paid you yet, how come you burned all the papers, the IOU papers." And the madam, nearly dying, suddenly woke up, and looking them in the eyes, she said, "If I don't burn all these, when I go down there (the underworld), how can I have any proof to get the money back from all of you?"
Please come to the following web sites to enjoy the original audio and
video versions of these jokes, and you may share the joy of Master's humor
with those around you as well.
http://www.Godsdirectcontact.org/video/joke/117/
http://www.Godsdirectcontact.org.tw/eng/light_sound/jokes/117