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You know thoughts are very important, very powerful - the existence and quality of God - so that at that moment, or at least, when we meditate, or we remember God, our thoughts are holy and pure and unconditional. So we don't create anything bad - only holy vibrations and powerful blessing.
So when these powerful blessings and this thought power are generated around us and within our environment, they rise up, and then other people who are also holy and practicing, they also generate the same thought, same blessing, same power. And like attracts like, and these attract each other and make it become a very powerful force, which defeats all the evil, negative influence in this world.
And that's how the world will become purified and improved day by day. That's how we help the world without having to do charity work even, without having to go out and preach. Yes, of course, when we go out and preach, we bring, momentarily, some high vibrations within, into the minds of the audience and raise them up for a while, or maybe permanently, or maybe for a long time. And maybe these persons go home, and then they carry these vibrations with them, and they nourish them, and they become stable in this holy atmosphere. And they grow holy, too - pure and stable. But it takes a powerful person to do that. Otherwise we are not influencing people. On the contrary, we will be influenced by them. Because the mass - the majority of the people - are many more minds put together, and we have only one. If we are not strong enough to cover all the minds up, then they will engulf us, and we are in danger.
Nevertheless, we do not need to do that. We can just sit in our corner, in a quiet corner of our bedroom and send out good thoughts, good vibrations, powerful blessing into the world and the universe at large. That's why we must meditate in order to purify our thoughts.
Every time we remember God, every time we remember the Holy Names of God, we are empowered with purity, holiness and blessings. And whoever is in the same consciousness, same level with us, will be united with us at that moment. And we add it to the force, to the positive force to purify the world and to make the world a better and better place, and to help those people who have similar minds with us to be more enforced, and to help those who come in contact with our thoughts, come in contact with our presence, to have more power, to raise themselves up. That's the best way to help the world.
Of course, when we help the world, we help ourselves, because we are living in it. The cleaner the atmosphere, the better for us even, not only for our neighbors. So helping others is helping ourselves. So every time we should generate a very pure thought, unconditional love, and good will - all the time - without wanting anything in return. This is the best way. Even if we have not reached the holy stage or very great Bodhisattva or Buddha stage, at least we should keep ourselves pure and uninfluenced by the negative power around us. Because in the world, many people who do not practice this goodness and who do not have real faith in God, they generate bad thoughts all the time. And they make the environment filthy by their own thoughts and deeds, and even speech.
And if we are not covered by a holy shield, by our own mental protection, and by our own purity and good will, then we will be drowned by this massive negative power around us. That's why we must always repeat the Holy Names of God, which are charged by the Master Power at the time of initiation. That's what we call spiritual lineage, or dharma bloodline. If we don't have the bloodline or the spiritual lineage, we repeat the Names like an empty word; it has no power.
Truly it is so. It is just like material well-being. A person who has no money cannot give other people money. Even though he signs a check, it will be an empty check - no support, no bank account to support it, the check. Similarly, the spiritually empty person cannot charge other people with spiritual power, cannot revive other people's spiritual power. Even though the spiritual power is invisible, it is existing. It must exist in order for a Saint or a Master to reawaken in the people, within people, their own spiritual power. Otherwise, it cannot just suddenly stand there and make fire by itself. Even though fire comes from wood, it needs something, or it needs another piece of firewood to burn it, or to make the fire within itself develop.
Similarly, the Master is the one who has developed Her or His own spiritual power, which can influence thousands, millions, the whole world, and the whole universe. The stronger the Master, the larger the influence. And this we can know by coming in contact with that Master. We feel very calm when we sit with a spiritual Master. And if we go out with other people, some people who are evil-minded or very fierce, we feel very restless and frightened. This is the invisible influence of the inner being, which we cannot tell, but we feel.
So, accordingly, we try to live up to the Master's standard. So we meditate; we try to purify our thoughts. The best thought is non-thought. Therefore, if you repeat the Holy Names of God, that's enough. That's the best thought. They are very neutral, very holy, and very powerful. At that moment, you have not the need to invoke the daily mind, the mundane mind. Because, however good we think, sometimes it is still conditioned by the customs of the country, by the habits of the mass of our people, and by the trend of the society.
Therefore, the best thought is that we just think of God. Because God is almighty, powerful. God can do everything. That means at that moment, we submit our will to God's will. Let God rule the universe, and we feel unburdened.
Please visit the following websites to enjoy the video-version of Master's words:
http://www.Godsdirectcontact.org.tw/eng/news/129/mt.htm (Formosa)
http://Godsdirectcontact.org/eng/news/129/mt.htm (USA)
The light of Heaven will cleanse all the darkness for eons, billions, trillions of years within our souls.
We can sit still for some part of our lives and think over, reorganize our way of life. We can only do that with enlightenment; otherwise it's very difficult to rescue our world from the surface.
I do not tell you to change your religious beliefs, occupation, or way
of life, but just to know the Truth. Because the Truth is inherent in all
underlying religious principles.
A man went to his master to tell him his problem: "Master! You must help me. I can't stand my life anymore. I am in great trouble! If you don't help me, I will surely die!"
"What happened?" The master asked.
"My family is very poor, and we have only one house. We cannot afford a big house, yet we need to squeeze in a lot of people, including my grandpa, maternal grandma, aunts, uncles, cousins, my sister-in-law, and my elder sister, plus my own three or four children," the disciple replied. "Besides, my elder sister will be having a baby soon, and my younger sister is getting married and plans to live with us with her husband!"
The master shook his head, thought and meditated for a while, then tapped his wisdom eye and said, "Ah! I have a solution! You keep animals at home, don't you?"
The disciple was a farmer, so he replied, "Yes! Yes!"
The master asked again, "What animals do you have at home?"
"I have two cows, two sheep, four geese, three pigs, ten chickens, twenty chicks, one cat, and two dogs," the farmer replied.
Wow! Do you see how "poor" he was? Then, the master said, "Now, move all the animals into your house, and everything will be okay!"
The farmer was bewildered by his master's words. But since he had heard that the master was omniscient, efficacious, and wise, he had no choice but to follow his instructions and give it a try. He went home and moved all the animals - cows, sheep, geese, chickens, cat and dogs, into his house and locked them in with his family. (Master and everyone laugh.)
A week passed and the man came again to see his master. He must have lost twenty pounds, and his clothes were a mess, covered with animal dung and urine. God! He really stunk! He rushed in and fell on his knees, saying, "Master! I am going to die very soon! Please save me; I can't stand it anymore! Now there are animal excretions everywhere in my house. The animals wander around everywhere, on our beds and tables, into the kitchen and bathroom. The whole house is filled with these things, and we are busy the whole day trying to clean it up, but it's all in vain. Just see what I have become!" The master strolled to and fro, tapped his wisdom eye, and contemplated for a while. Suddenly, he said, "Ah! I got it! Go home and take the two cows out of the house, and everything will be fine."
"Thank you very much, master," said the disciple, before rushing home to push the two cows out of his house.
Another week passed and the disciple was back again, "Master! I still cannot stand it! The floor is covered with animal dung, and the animals make so much noise all day long. I really cannot stand it anymore! Do you have any other solution?" The master again strolled back and forth, touching his beard, tapping his wisdom eye, and then said, "Oh! Go and take the sheep out, and it will be okay." The farmer followed his Master's instructions and went home and took the sheep out.
Two weeks later, he came back again with the same complaint: "We can't stand it any longer! How can we live like this? I listened to you, but I truly cannot stand it!" Again, the master tapped at his wisdom eye and said, "All right! Go home and chase the geese out." Again the man did as instructed, thinking that the problem had been solved.
However, he came back two weeks later with the same complaint, so his master said, "Then move the chickens and ducks out, too." And he did accordingly. However, two weeks later, he came back with another complaint. "Good grief! Now the two dogs fight with the cat all the time and chase it around everywhere. As soon as we lie down to sleep, they jump on our faces. It is really unbearable! What should we do?" The master said, "Then you might as well drive out the dogs and cat, too!" The disciple acted accordingly, and then he felt much better. (Master and everyone laugh.) (Applause) A month later, he brought some flowers and bananas to his Master, and said, "Master, you are always the best. Now all our siblings, uncles, grandparents, all of us are living in peace and harmony."
Whatever God gives us is always the best. If you complain about having
three children and two husbands? Oh! No! (Master and everyone laugh) If
you complain that it is too much and you are too busy having one husband
and three children, later God may give you several more! We ought to be
contented with what we have. This world is only a playground for us, so
do not be too serious. If you give it a thought, then you will feel the
fun. With some organizing effort, your family will become much better.
Meditate more and contemplate on it, then you will find the solution to
your problem. Therefore, do not be nervous and do not complain. This is
how our life is supposed to be, no matter how much we complain.
Q: Since God gave us free will, and we can do anything - even change our destiny - how can we align our will with God's will, and know that we are doing God's will?
M: There are two things that you can do: Follow your will, or follow God's will. Following your will is this: If you don't like this or you don't like that, you change. You have the right to please yourself. If you don't like this or that, change it.
Following God's will means, "OK, I don't care. Whatever comes my way, I'll do it." And God takes care of the rest. If you're strong enough, you just do that. Whatever comes your way, you take care of it the best you can. Then the rest is up to Hirm. But if you are not yet strong enough, you follow your will. Whatever you don't like, you change. And hope that God cooperates; Hes always does.
Q:But can ego get in the way of your will?
M: No. If you don't have an ego anymore, you don't even bother with free will. So if there's no ego, no self-will, then there's only God's will. We go step by step, anyhow. There's no need to jump right into God's will if you're not ready for it. Hes is very patient; whatever you want is what Hes wants. But whatever Hes wants is not always what you want. Therefore, there is free will, and there is God's will. So you make your choice.
Q: How do I align my will and surrender to God's will? Because I know that God's will is the best for me.
M: Then just don't do anything. Can you do that? Can you do nothing?
Q: Just simply be?
M: Yes! I don't mean just sit there all day long, but do whatever comes. If you're in this job, do it. If someone asks you to do that, do it. If someone doesn't ask you for anything, don't do anything. Just do whatever you know is coming your way. That's what God's will is. If you can be satisfied with that, then it's fine. If not, you can change.
Q: Thank You for being so simple. You're very simple.
M: Yes, well, that's what I learned. (Audience applauds) That's why yesterday I said to some of your brothers and sisters, "Just do nothing." There's no need to sit there and imagine sending God's love or compassion in all kinds of directions, imagining this and imagining that. Just sit there, and God will send things to you. But Hes also said, "Knock and it shall be given." That's free will. I don't even bother to knock anymore. If Hes doesn't give it to me, I say, "OK, keep it." I don't even ask. And if Hes doesn't give, I say, "All right! Then I might not need it." It's simpler that way.
All you have to do is just take care of this body, work enough to live
or invest or whatever. Just do the things that you do. It's less struggle
and more peaceful. Emerson, the American philosopher, said, "A great
burden falls from your shoulders if you let God run the universe."
I live by that concept.
Q: Master, you have said that we punish ourselves. (M. Yes, we punish ourselves.) But still in this world, we never see that when children do something wrong, they punish themselves. It's the mother or father who punishes the child. And also when we break traffic laws, we do not ourselves go to the police station and say, "Oh! I was speeding." But it's the police who catch us and punish us. So it feels like there's a higher witness who witnesses our good and bad karma and who gives us rewards and punishments according to our actions. It's hard to think that we ourselves are providing the reward and punishment.
M: The laws of this world and the inner laws are different. We ourselves are consciousness; whatever we do in this world is physical. We need physical eyes to watch, physical hands to catch us, and physical laws to govern us in the things we do physically. But there are things that are deeper than the physical level: when we hurt people intentionally, or rob people's things and know that we should not. The police may not even catch us, but we ourselves are the witness - all the time, 24 hours a day. We cannot run away from our conscience.
Therefore, sometimes we commit wrong actions in this world and the police do not catch us. But we always know we have done wrong. And the wrongdoing feeling will continue to follow us. Whatever we do and whatever we think creates a kind of energy form, surrounding us and sticking to our psychic body. And that's what we have to bear after we leave this world of material things and material existence, because some crimes are beyond retribution. For example, if we kill someone, the policemen catch us and bring us to prison. We serve a prison term of maybe ten or twenty years or maybe our whole life. But that doesn't erase our conscience. Because life has not been restored to the person we killed during our prison term, not at all. We know he is dead. And his children, his wife and his beloved wail for him, miss him and suffer. And their hatred and suffering also create a kind of energy that is directed toward us, and we cannot escape it. Thoughts have form and energy; that's why people can perform hypnotism. Therefore, the thoughts and hatred of the dead person and the hatred of his loved ones will continue to harm you and follow you. And your own conscience will continue to create this kind of repenting energy and make you feel troubled. Even a prison term cannot erase that.
That's how we - as God, as energy, as wisdom and spirit, as power - cannot tolerate the wrongdoing of our mistakes. So we have to find a way to level them out, in order to ease our conscience. That's how we fall into a level of consciousness that is very dark, has no light in it and has suffering. And that is called hell. Actually, hell doesn't otherwise exist. Apart from our own conscience, apart from the consciousness of wrongdoing people, there is no hell. It is different on the physical level than on the spiritual level; psychically we know what we are doing wrong, even though other people don't know.
There are many things people don't know. For example, there are many people who are so wicked that they can curse people and make them sick. Physically, there is no proof that the police can use to catch them, but psychically or mentally that wicked person knows all the time.
We are the best witness of any crime or any virtuous behavior that we act
out. That's why I said we punish ourselves, or we award ourselves Heaven.
You can say that this is the higher order. That's our higher Self, our
higher consciousness or our Justice that writes down this sentence for
us. But it is our Self, our true Self.
You can now enjoy the infinite wisdom of Supreme Master Ching Hai as She answers questions from spiritual practitioners in an easier way. Visit http://www.godsdirectcontact.org.tw/eng/pearl_wisdom/qa/index2.htm and experience Her clear, concise explanations about the many perplexities that spiritual seekers encounter. This useful website includes on its first page a comprehensive list of categories of popular areas of concern for quick viewing. There is also a "Search Keyword" feature that allows for a thorough and detailed study of many topics that can be accessed either by choosing from a list of keywords or by entering a keyword of your choice.
Have you become a little bigger? (Audience: Yes.) Yes, you have become bigger and swollen inside. (Audience laughs.) The better we practice, the "bigger" we become. This is real strength. Physical strength is useless. Real strength comes when the Light within us grows stronger and brighter. Although I cannot nurture you physically, I do nurture the Light in you so that you grow "bigger" and "bigger". (Audience laughs and applauds.)
However, when we attain the high levels, we become smaller instead of bigger. Only an ocean of Light exists. The higher we are, the smaller and more purified we become. We are small then but we don't feel the smallness. We can grow big quickly, or become even smaller or even nothing, just as we wish.
When we are at a high level, we do not immediately see the God of that level just as we want. Instead, we must have good affinities with that God, who can then manifest to us. Otherwise, Hes is invisible though omnipresent. Hes is not a crude physical body that can be seen as soon as we get there. That's not the way it is! If Hes is willing to be seen, Hes will adjust Hiers vibrations - the intensity and density of Hiers Light, in order to become visible to us. Hes will show us one or two manifestations, even if it's just in the form of Light or a transparent body. Otherwise we cannot see Hirm at all.
But that realm is not the highest level. At the highest level, there is nothing but a very peaceful and loving power. We have not the slightest idea how to address Hirm. We cannot embrace Hirm but we feel embraced and loved. We don't know who Hes is, but we do know there is someone or something. We can feel an extremely compassionate and loving force. And that is God, Buddha or Creativity.
In this ephemeral world, we are God as well. When we love our children, neighbors, and fellow men, we represent God's quality. We develop our love within and express it through actions. The more we develop our love, the closer we are to God, the Buddha, the Tao, and the Creativity, because they are love.
Therefore, when the founders of religions descended to this planet on behalf of God or Buddha, they taught only love and compassion. They were closer to God, the Buddha, and the Supreme love, so they had the greatest love. Therefore, we feel that God loves us and will take care of all who come to Hirm. Whether a thousand or a million people come to Hirm, it seems like Hes is taking care only of us. Did you ever experience that? (Several people: Yes. Audience applauds.) God is like that.
No one seems to be taking care of this universe. It's as though no system or organization exists. But God doesn't neglect anything. Not even an insect, a small blade of grass, a little fruit or flower is ignored; instead, they are carefully tended. Therefore, when the time comes, flowers bloom and the sun rises; the weather turns warm when spring arrives or cold when winter comes. The coldness doesn't mean that God has ignored us. It means a rest is necessary or the universe needs a break, just like we need sleep at night.
That's why we easily get tired in winter. We need to take in something nutritious, so that we have enough energy. In winter, leaves fall and the trees look withered. It has to be like this so that the trees can grow new leaves later. All the births and deaths have their meanings. The place where I have pitched my tent is turning green. How beautiful it is! Do you remember when you went to pick persimmons? Those trees had not turned green yet. Now they are all green, so beautiful! That's the way it is. There should be winter so that the trees can wither, the old and dying leaves can fall, and the trees can have a break, trembling and rustling and vibrating for three months. (Audience laughs.) And then leaves will sprout again and fruit will be borne.
There are some flowers that do not bloom with too much watering. Like those plants from the desert, cactus for example. If you take too "good" care of it in the room, it won't live. On the contrary, it should grow in a dry environment, and can grow beautiful flowers when it seems to be dying.
Similarly, things do not always go smoothly for those of us who are spiritual practitioners. Sometimes we think things are going well but they really are not. It is not necessarily good for our spiritual practice or wisdom. Neither is it always good for us physically. It does not necessarily help with our progress in a certain aspect. At that time, we may spoil ourselves, relax too much, indulge in too much physical fun and merrymaking, squander our precious time, listen to our minds only, and take little care of our spirit. Sometimes you may be brought to the test, either by Master or fellow initiates, or by outside situations. At that time we think things are not going smoothly and there is much to endure for us to live on. But later on, we will make rapid progress.
Therefore, sometimes when we think that things are not working out in our spiritual practice, business, or life, it is actually the most favorable and beneficial situation for us, because our spirituality will then develop, sprout, and bloom. This is just like giving birth, when you undergo the greatest suffering, isn't it? (Female audience members: Yes.) Therefore, we have to make some form of sacrifice in order to get something in return. Sometimes we have to pay with some effort, and be more independent, in order to achieve breakthroughs. Nothing comes easily.
I have so many disciples, but they didn't come all at once. I searched very hard and long for an Enlightened Master, and went through so many tests. You feel that you suffer when I scold you, but actually it's nothing. The tests I went through were a million times more painful than yours. Your tests are no big deal. You feel upset when tested by me or fellow practitioners. But you dare not do anything when outside people test you. For example, if you are scolded by your boss, you can do nothing. You dare not show your anger, for you are afraid of losing the chance to make money. When you do business outside, you put up with rude and unsatisfied customers. But I cannot scold you because I do not pay you. (Audience laughs.)
We should compare these situations so that we can pass the spiritual tests. When people scold or even slander us, we won't have any problem if we regard it as a test from the saints or God; otherwise we won't make any progress.
The clothes, the glasses, and other things you wear are made through a laborious and difficult process. The cotton dress, for example, is not like this originally. It is made from cotton flowers from cotton plants grown under the sun; the flowers are gathered, filtered, stripped, pressed by machine or hand, then stretched, boiled, machine processed again, and dried in the sun. It requires a lot of effort and the process is painful. If cotton could talk, it would tell you in tears how hard it has been "practicing"!
You should know when you look at your clothes. You don't have to listen to my lecturing so much. Your glasses are another example. Just think where they come from. How much does the glass have to be heated to make it into lenses? The raw material has to be heated to very high temperatures, liquidized, and cooled in a mold, before it becomes lenses of different shapes and sizes. This is an arduous process, just like it is being forced. And it has to be polished and you have to get your eyes checked before it can be turned into a pair of glasses just right for you! Oh, the sentient beings toil immeasurably!
A small thing, like a pair of glasses takes so much effort, not to mention becoming a saint! You must be joking if you say so! You can't pass even the smallest test! And you get angry when I scold you a little! We should learn to be tolerant. If we can't put up with the scolding of our fellow practitioners, family members, Master, teachers and friends, how can we tolerate it when we have to deliver thousands or millions of sentient beings! They are all different in character and some are vicious. At that time, we will know we are short of patience, and regret not having learned better from our Master.
This is the reason that the Tibetan yogi-saint Milarepa remains famous today. He followed his Master for seven years, and suffered daily torment without complaint. He begged his Master for the Dharma every day, but dared not complain for fear that his Master would refuse to train him. Thus, he didn't complain when his Master kicked, beat, scolded, and treated him "unjustly." This is an excellent example of a good disciple. This is why Milarepa has remained famous throughout the history of Buddhism. This is truly passing on the heritage to future generations. We are still familiar with His name and aspire to be tolerant like Him. We call Him "the transcendental man."
Besides Milarepa, many worldly people, like past or modern politicians and heroes, had to go through many trials and hardships before they became famous. For example, the British monarch has to be trained at a military academy before he ascends to the throne (it's the Royal British tradition to train their future king in a military academy). In the military academy, people don't care who you are, but beat and scold you like everyone else. They could command you to do dirty or rigorous work. They may order you to undress yourself and go outside when it is snowing. You have to accept the order. You cannot say, "I am the prince of Britain." They will just say, "I know. Your mother has told me to give you more lessons."
Children, including princes and the children of important officials, are intentionally sent to military academies, because it is difficult for parents to teach them at home. It is more convenient to send them for training outside, where there is very serious discipline. Otherwise, they won't have the chance to experience difficult and unfavorable situations, and when they ascend to the throne, they will just spoil themselves and indulge in merrymaking, which will be bad for the country and people. They won't be patient in dealing with other countries; that's for sure.
We practitioners should not wonder why we suffer so much. We should read some books about such examples often, so that we become more open, patient, and humble. We should check if we have achieved what those great people achieved. Therefore, we should train ourselves more and study more. When we are scolded, we should recite the Holy Names and thank the people who scold us. (Audience laughs.) Really! We should do this, and then we will feel a change. Later, we will wonder why the person who scolded us is looking up to us!
We should train ourselves instead of pampering ourselves, because we don't know when God will select us to benefit sentient beings. It's not like an election to be an Enlightened Master to benefit sentient beings. It's not that we advertise ourselves and deceive people so that they will vote for us. It's not that people will advertise for us and make us famous so that people will elect us. It's not true! Advertising does nothing for God. He just picks you after watching you down here with a telescope and says, "Okay, that guy is nice! He is very good!" And then you are selected. Maybe you are selected to deliver one or two persons, which is blessing enough for you; enough to buy a ticket to fly up there! (Audience laughs.) Maybe you are selected to deliver hundreds, thousands, or even more people, then your mission becomes crucial, because it's difficult enough delivering just one person, which involves delivering five generations of that person's family! Its reward is high.
Therefore, we should remember to pass the tests at times of adversity.
We must be mature people. Not only should our energy be vitalized, but
our minds should be more open as well. We should understand that the world
is just a big illusion and fantasy, so why bother becoming attached to
anything! Why should we contest for this vanity fair! Why should we explain
our "unfair" situation? Sooner or later, we will all be gone.
The king will be gone, and so will the garbage collector. Nobody stays
here forever. Therefore, even if we are confronted with some unfavorable
situation, we have to live on and test ourselves. The more we endure, the
less we feel we have to "endure," and then we find ourselves
at a higher level. We don't have to measure our spiritual level only by
seeing visions or hearing the Sound of the Divine. (Audience applauds.)
Every one of us must bring the message of God, of love, of tolerance, of compassion to others, reminding each other all the time. Not only in the church, but everywhere, in the street, in the restaurant, in the hotel, in the market. We have to always remember. We remember ourselves and remind others.
I tell you it is true, that it is the best thing that ever happened to us: The Quan Yin Method. Sometimes you forget a lot of things, or you don't know how to solve a problem or a question, but you meditate for a while, you do the Quan Quang (Chinese: 'meditation on the Light'), and then you do the Quan Yin (meditation on the Sound), and then all things come very quick to you. And you know it. That's why "Seek you first the Kingdom of God." Meditate! Meditate first, and everything else comes along. And if it doesn't come at that time, it means "Okay, you don't need it.
What is it that makes a difference between a so-called enlightened person
and an unenlightened person? An enlightened person sees life in a different
way. He is more relaxed, he is happy and he knows what is in him. He knows
what the great power is that makes all things move, that makes one love
others and makes the earth so lively and makes things happier for him.
It is the Supreme Master power within each one of us. And when we awaken
it and use it only, then all the negative, depressing traces of our habits,
of collected memory from the past will fade away.
There were two lovers who had known each other not very long, so they shared strong mutual feelings. Just like us, we met "only" ten years ago, and still feel strongly about each other. (Master and audience laugh.) One day they went dancing and stayed out very late, yet they were reluctant to part even after they got out of the car. They hugged each other over and over again, talking endlessly.
At this time, a young man happened to park his car near them. He got out of his car, went up to them, hesitated for a moment, and then returned to his car, where he stayed and looked at them again. After a short while, he came over again, hesitated, and then returned to his car. He repeated his action several times. At last he stood on the other side of the road and stared at the couple, apparently at a loss. He put his hands in his pockets, then behind his back, and then in his pockets again, all the time staring at the two lovers.
Finally, the male lover couldn't put up with it anymore. He ran up to the
man and asked, "You have been staring at us for half an hour. What
exactly do you want?" "Well, I was trying to enter my house,
but you were standing in the way, and I couldn't get in!"
A man asked his friend, "Mr. Wang, how is the second-hand car you bought last week?"
"Don't mention it! It's horrible!" Mr. Wang replied.
"Why?"
"It makes such a din that you have never heard anything more disturbing
- every part of the car makes a big noise, except the horn!"
"Doctor, I need an operation," said an old lady to a doctor.
"What's wrong?" The doctor asked.
"Nothing. I just need an operation."
"You are not sick but you want an operation? Where should I perform it?"
"It doesn't matter. Just go ahead and do it."
"But why?"
"I am a member of the Senior Citizens Association. All our members have had surgery. And they talk about it every day. I have never had surgery and cannot join in the conversation!"